Strong fathers, strong daughters

I’m reading a book called 'Strong fathers, strong daughters’;  by Dr. Meg Meeker. It is a very revealing writing on the relationship between the father and daughter.  I am being stirred as a dad to reach out more than ever for my daughters.

There are some great nuggets in this book that I am adopting in my character as a father.  For instance I am my daughter’s first love, and the love that I show and give her is the starting point of everything.  It’s very thought provoking when I think about the fact that every man who enters her life will be compared to me; every relationship she has with a man will be filtered through her relationship with me. If I have a good relationship with my daughter then chances are she will choose a boyfriend who will treat her well.  I gleaned from this book some practical steps I can take to make sure my daughter feels loved by me.

Words; It’s a fact that women like to talk and men really don't. A good rule of thumb when talking to your daughter is to use twice as many words when talking to her as you normally would, even if it means just saying things twice. Daughters can be prone to self doubt, so say words of compliments repeatedly to her.

Fences; In general men are better at building fences than woman are. I don't mean literal fences, but the walls and boundaries my daughter needs around her world. Daughters with a curfew know that someone wants them home and is probably waiting for them. Girls who are told to watch their tongue know that their parents want them to grow up and be well spoken.

Time; Being a father means giving up your time without resentment. As fathers we have to carve out time slots for our children. But spending time with your daughter is not suppose to be a pressure situation of trying to think always of something to do. Remember she just wants to be with you. Over the last forty years, the amount of time kids spend with their parents has gone down by ten to twenty hours a week. At the high end that is almost three hours a day gone from your relationship with your children. Spend time with your daughter. Your physical presence alone can make her feel protected.

It’s a privilege to serve you,
Pastor Lloyd